And Sometimes, Life Gives Your Lemmings...^_^ This is a fanfic by Irk at sailorcat@hotmail.com. It is rated PG-13 for innuendo. BTW, ooc means Out Of Continuity. And remember, kids- respect lemons as the yellow fruits they are. *Cough, cough, imply things about certain blonds, cough* And now for our story! And Sometimes, Life Gives You Lemmings... By Irk *Attention. Will the Dark King by the name of Jadeite please make his prescence known in the Main Throne Room of her majesty Queen Beryl-sama as soon as possible. Thank you.* Jadeite scrunched his eyebrows together. The new answering service was pleasant, but his mind was still adjusting to the...politeness of it all. He sighed and prepared to teleport to the lovely Queen Beryl-sama, May She Not Get Really Mad And Sentence Him To Decoy Duty. It was weird though...with the new answering service you didn’t get the same frantic urge to rush off- *JADEITE!!!! REPORT IMMEDIATELY UPON PAIN OF DECOY DUTY!!!!!!!!!!!!* Ah. That was more like it. "So," Jadeite fought the urge to scratch his head, "King Nephrite requested my aid?" Queen Beryl ran her hands over the crystal ball. She kept doing this because some time ago she realized that her hands were completely lost in permanent orbit around the ball and would not stop moving. She spoke in a droll voice. "Yes. I cannot imagine why." Jadeite really wanted to scratch his head...there was that itch... "Really, my Queen?" "Yes, Jadeite. This is not a setup." She twitched her fingers to encourage their continued flexibility. "Nani?" Jadeite’s head jerked up to look at his Queen. Beryl continued in the same droll tones. "I was saying that this order by me to report to Nephrite, pointless and plot-holed and ooc as it seems, is not in any way a cheesy and obvious setup for you and Nephrite to engage in yaoi activities." She looked up to meet Jadeite’s surprised blue gaze. "Am I clear?" This audience had become intensely strange. "Hai, my Queen." Jadeite’s fingers twitched from the urge to scratch his head, but he resisted temptation. "Good." Queen Beryl twitched her left ring finger and was relieved to find it could still move... Jadeite stood at attention, awaiting further orders. Beryl waited in ooc patience for Jadeite to leave her throne room so she could resume business. Jadeite shifted his weight a little. His right foot was getting slightly sore... "Jadeite?" He looked up to Queen Beryl’s garnet-red irises. "Hai, my Queen?" Jadeite shifted out of his slight slouch. "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!!" Queen Beryl’s screeching shattered Jadeite’s eardrums. He almost fell over, but fought gravity and won. "Hai!" Jadeite teleported to his quarters and scratched his head intensely. "AHHHH....." If anything could be said about Jadeite, it probably wouldn’t be that he was prompt, because his affinity for airplanes was much more notorious. But he was indeed a prompt King, and therefore appeared inside Nephrite’s chambers very shortly after he had relieved the itching in his head. His gaze wandered around the room he now occupied. Nothing was very notable as there was absolutely no canon about Nephrite’s Dark Kingdom quarters due to his more famous "Summer Home" in Japan, and fans have trouble taking things out of the usual format, so Jadeite, although he occupied the quarters of a high-ranking official of a rather rich kingdom which must have many ornate and rare furnishings, noticed absolutely nothing about the room save that there was a small round table with two chairs, two wine glasses, and a pitcher of what could easily be mistaken for lemonade as we all know that Nephrite has a high affinity for lemons(meh- heh-heh), in the same way that we all know Nephrite is an alcoholic. (PHEW.) Jadeite felt a hand rest on his shoulder. It was tired. Nephrite’s voice whispered into his ear. "You came so quickly, Jadeite-san." "EERRGH! UNNNNG! UNH!" There was much panting. "It’s...it’s..." Groans, moaning, moan. "SO TIGHT!!!" POP! Jadeite’s entire body sagged with relief. "Hai, Nephrite, I got your pickle jar open. Ja ne!" Jadeite poofed out. Zoisite and Kunzite lay in the bed... Wait. They weren’t in bed. Zoisite and Kunzite lay... Umm...oops. Sorry. Scratch. Zoisite and Kunzite... Were not even occupying the same room. What a fine lemon this turned out to be. FIN